Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
