We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
