funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
