that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
