around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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