apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
