someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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