i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
