I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He better not be in your backpack
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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