Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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