Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
