I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
