no, he came in my armpit
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
