Plan B is the new Plan A
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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