this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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