Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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