I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
When are your genitals available?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
