You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
