is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
how does that bad decision feel?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
