I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
