Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
