How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
