everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
