omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
