If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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