Pappa wants mamma naked
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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