life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
