I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
