Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
