You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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