so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
