Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
high people should be assigned attendants
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
