The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
