6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
