You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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