the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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