i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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