Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
