He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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