This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
