My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize