I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
