I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
