It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize