So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
