Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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