why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
