I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
