she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
