There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
