found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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