Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
