at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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