My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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