Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
