threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
