Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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